Monday, January 16, 2012

International vs Domestic

I have been reading everything I come across that pertains to adoption from foster care and international adoption. It has left me wondering many things, the one that is really weighing heavy on my mind is; do you consider adoption of a child from the US foster care system still the adoption of an orphan? I assume the answer to this question is yes, yet I feel that children here are in real homes by mostly caring foster parents and children in orphanages are spending their days in an institution with no clue what a real family is like. With that said our plan is to adopt from foster care but my heart is still aching for the children in orphanages, I feel by adopting domestically I'm not doing enough to help the orphans of the world.

What are your thoughts on this? Have you adopted from foster care? Am I crazy for even thinking this way? Please let me know.


The Spicer Family said...

Hi Michelle, I don't think you're crazy for thinking this way! The problem can seem overwhelming, and we all want to jump in and do as much as we can which often seems like looking for the neediest child or situation. The thing is, every child needs a home for their growing up years and, at least as importantly, a family forever. I think that levels the playing field between domestic and adoption. Yes, kids in foster care have a family for now, but what about when they are getting married, having their first child, making tough life decisions? Do they have a soft place to land if things get tough?

Really, my answer for anyone struggling with these questions is to pray, pray, and pray some more that God would lead you to your child. I think His plan is always better than our plans! Harder to figure out, for sure, but better! Good luck!! Can't wait to see where you are led!

Mike and Christie said...

We have adopted from foster care, private (disrupted international adoption) and International adoption. (one of our daughter's frinds who was left behind.
Follow your heart. I don't think there is any right or wrong answer here, just like if you choose to be Presbyterian or Reformed Baptist. :)

The truth is, that kids in foster care, here, are not necessarily that taken care of. The percentage of children abused in foster care is high, and that doesn't include indifferent families. Our daughter was severely damaged by foster care.
She learned, "If she doesn't act correctly, people get rid of you." What an awful lesson! By the age of 5, she was said to have RAD. It took several years for her to feel that she was not going to be moved.

In the orphanages, everybody is treated poorly, but they all are treated the same. This in, my mind, is almost better. Sad as that is to say. But we saw the discrepencies that our daughter faced in her foster home. One child (bio) had designer room, she had storage room..... etc.
And even at 5, that hurts.
I would adopt from foster care again too.
However, the Lord led us to our daughters, and one of those was all the way in Ukraine. :)